Self-confidence helps children and adults be more successful individuals. People with self-confidence make friends easier, accomplish more, and are less likely to be plagued with sleep disorders, social disorders, depression, and anxiety. Obviously teaching your kids to be self-confident is an important parental responsibility. Five of the best ways to do this is to let your children known its okay to make mistakes, to expose them to new activities, places and people every day, to show unconditional love, avoid comparisons to others and encourage rather than praise.
Mistakes Are Okay The fastest way to decrease a child’s self confidence is to make them afraid of making a mistake. You may think only a really mean parent would make their child feel bad about themselves just for making a mistake, but it isn’t as easy as that. Kids are very good at picking up feelings of disappointment, disapproval, and shame. They are also very good at blaming themselves for everything that goes wrong. Being over protective (and let’s be honest, you know if you are) can create a deep feeling of insecurity for a child. You tell your child to not run through the house and then you around and he’s fallen and skinned his knee and he’ll feel that he got hurt because he was bad. The more controlling and domineering you are as a parent the less you child will believe in themselves. Instead bring your child to many different events and places and encourage, not push them to try anything and everything.
Do Something New Everyday Exposing your child to new and varied activities is one of the best ways to enhance their self-confidence. The more often your child does new things and visits new places – and has positive experiences – the more likely they are to feel secure in doing new things. Have the confidence to try something new and take risks is a main characteristic of highly successful people. Some examples of places you might visit include libraries, museums, a fire station, historic park, or the ocean. Activities you may try with your child include flying a kite, collecting shells on the beach, hiking, fishing, gardening, or horseback riding. Obviously these are incomplete lists and you should add to them whatever you want.
Unconditional Love Naturally you love your child unconditionally. Unfortunately children don’t really know that and when you coerce your kids ("Come on Honey, I know you can get to the top) or pressure them ("Don’t stop pedaling. Keep Going!). You can unintentionally give your child the message that they need to "perform" or "be good" Avoid saying things that focus on the child ("Be a good girl for Mommy.") and instead focus on the behavior – whether good or bad. ("Pushing hurts. Please don’t push.") By focusing on the behavior rather than the child, you show your child that they don’t have to act a certain way to be valued and appreciated.
Avoid Comparisons Most parents and teachers are guilty of comparing one child to another at some time. Comparisons are extremely damaging to a child’s self-esteem and consequently their self-confidence. At all costs avoid telling your child to do something such as "Pick up your toys like Johnny is doing." or "I wish you got good grades like your sister." I know it may feel like you would never say anything like this but sometimes it slips out without you thinking about it. From here on you should beware of making comparisons between your child and others no matter how innocent the comparison may see. In fact, comparisons that are in your kid’s favor are just as harmful as those that aren’t. This is because it sends the message to your child that they must sustain a certain level of "goodness" to keep your love and approval.
Encourage Often/Praise Infrequently There is a major difference between encourage and praise. Encouragement helps your child feel supports while doing activities. Praise is a statement of approval and pride in something that your child has done. While both are good, encouragement is always an effective way to boost your child’s self-confidence while too much praise can actually put more pressure on a child to perform. And let’s face it – kids know that not everything they do is worthy of a trophy. Only give your kids sincere and well-earned praise.By following these five tips, you can help bolster your child’s confidence level and give them an excellent head start in life.
For more information on more productive parenting, please visit http://www.essential-ed.com. Jenn Carpenter works as a freelance writer, blogger and internet marketer from her home in Warwick, RI. She is a mother of three as well as an active member of her community. To learn more about her amazing story check out http://www.livingmybigdream.com.
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