Fathers dramatically underestimate the importance of themselves in their daughters’ lives. They doubt their significance and influence, and misunderstand how much their daughters need and want to have a good relationship with them.
Fathers have a tremendous power over their daughters lives, and how they live them. A daughter naturally wants to view her dad as a leader. She looks to him as a protector, and a provider. She wants to look up to him. A father is really his daughter’s first love. He is the most important man in her life. His interactions with her set her up for how she’s going to relate to all other men in her life.
When a dad is not part of his daughters life, she struggles. Her self-esteem struggles. Her ability to have healthy relationships with other men tends to fail. Her sense of what she’s able to accomplish flounders. Particularly girls between the ages of 10 and 17 have a strong need for male attention, affection and touch. If dad is absent either physically, or emotionally, or both, she’ll get what she needs from other male friendships, or even from romantic sexual relationships.
The number 1 influence on a girl’s self esteem is affection from her dad. A father who is protective of his daughter (one who sets boundaries and curfews and makes a point of meeting the boys she dates), feels more loved and treasured and therefore places more value on herself. A girl who places more value on herself is less likely to engage in risky behaviors, such as drinking alcohol, taking drugs, or casual sex. It is not enough for a father to be present in his daughter’s life; he must also be actively involved in her life. This requires spending time one on one with his daughter on a regular basis.
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