When raising children it is vital that you treat them fairly otherwise the imbalance could have lasting effects on their development. You may not even know you are favouring one child over another as often it can be easy to address each situation as it arises rather than taking a step back and looking at the bigger picture.

As a remedy to a particular situation it could be that you decide to treat your children equally however this does not necessarily equate to treating them all fairly as each child will be different have different needs – so it is important to think it through.

Also, if you have children of roughly similar ages it can sometimes feel like they are the same age especially if there is a year or less between two of them – however one year makes a big difference to the development of a young child.

Also, you need to talk to the children and explain to them why you do the things you do – they may not completely understand but it will offer a level of openness that may ease their mind. Let’s face it – kids will be kids and there will always be those times where one child has something slightly different to the other and cry "it’s not fair"… and this is where it is important to make the distinction between fair and unfair rather than simply trying to be equal.

Feelings of resentment between siblings can lay deep and follow the children into adult hood – so it’s vital to notice it and deal with it the best you can. Ask close friends and family for their opinion, especially when visiting or out and about to see if they notice any indication that you may be leaning towards favouring one child over another.

Consistency goes a long way – especially when you try and enforce rules. One thing to instil in children is a sense of responsibility, to themselves, to each other, and to the household and to ensure that your children understand their responsibility and how it fits in with everyone else. Always try and stay positive – even when things are not going quite to plan. Remember to give the children space to actually grow up.

There are things you can be aware of, about your own behaviour, when dealing with your children that may help flag and even improve the situation:

  • Observe your own behaviour whilst interacting with your children
  • Ask yourself what you know about your children and then talk to them to see if it matches
  • Ensure chores are distributed fairly
  • Ensure you don’t give in to the demands of one child simply because it’s easier
  • Spend time with each child, individually, to help the bonding process

Remember! A child may not feel confident enough to say something is not fair, but it is a fair bet that they will see and hear most things, especially when you are favouring the other children, so stay alert and be positive.

Jason Slater is an independent technologist, software developer, writer and parent from the United Kingdom. Visit his blog at Jason Slater Technology Blog.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Jason_R_Slater
http://EzineArticles.com/?Treating-Children-Equally-is-Not-the-Same-As-Treating-Children-Fairly&id=4825811

Be Sociable, Share!