All kids experiment with lying, younger kids most especially. The most crucial age wherein a child learns to deliberately lie, often a blend of reality and fantasy, is between the ages 3 and 7. It is during this age when kids are likely to invent imaginary friends or companions who become their guilty counterparts whenever they did something wrong. When that happens, be an adult and do not take the lie personally.
It is normal for kids to pass through the lying phase. In fact, it is a part of their development. However, that does not mean that it has to be tolerated. If you want to avoid the situation where your child, even at later age, relies on lying as a means of coping, then you have to handle your kid’s lying behavior the moment it blooms.
Discouraging the act of lying will be handled worse by severe punishments. Spanking a child after telling a lie will not solve anything, but will instead affirm that sense of control that the child wants to have over you. Instead of spanking your child for lying, focus on the values that you want to inculcate. To prevent him from lying, teach him honesty, and create an environment where he will strive for it.
For example your child lied to you’re the first time, and is quite firm about the lie. He may sound extremely convincing, but as a parent you should know better. If you know that your child is lying, find a way to make him realize that lying will simply not work with you, in a simple yet effective way.
Tell him that your hearts are actually joined by a hundred invisible threads and that every time he lies, he cuts one of these threads, severing the connection between you along the way.
The more he tells a lie, the more threads he cut. And if his lying goes on, all the threads will be cut and nothing will connect you two anymore. But if he decides to tell the truth, the thread will grow thicker and stronger until it will be impossible to cut.
Something as simple as this can have a tremendous impact in your child’s innocent mind. Instead of beating him to death for not telling the truth, instill good values and make him appreciate the benefits of telling the truth. Telling the truth will make your child feel authentic, encouraging him to do it as much as possible.
It is your job as parents to keep your children as honest as possible without being strict, violent, or uptight. When your kids lie, do not lose focus or take the lies personally. After all, kids will always be kids.
Looking for parenting advice? We highly recommend The Total Transformation Program for parents dealing with Kids Who Engage in Back Talk. Check on the link for more information.
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