If you ask most parents what they ultimately wish for their children, the universal answer seems to be that they want them to be healthy and happy. But what does that really mean? In today’s complex world when change is not only constant but more rapid then ever, the key component to achieving health (physical, mental and emotional) and happiness (feeling self-confident, optimistic, and joyful) is resilience – the ability for a child to bounce back from adversity and after experiencing setbacks. Many parents want to shield and protect their children which is appropriate to some extent when they are very young, but most studies have shown that children who are better prepared to meet life’s challenges will not only have a stronger probability to survive them, but to go on to thrive and reach their goals. Let’s face it. Life can get messy and the ability for children to effectively deal with everything from rejection and failure to bullying, divorce, and even death provides them with an inner strength that fuels an optimism that allows them to move forward, plan, and find joy. It is their source of power and ultimately their ability to create, contribute, and connect to others. It is their mojo – their magic.When writing The Co-Walkers, Awakening, I did extensive research into the topic of resiliency as I wanted to integrate that message into my story. As a parent, teacher and counselor I was fascinated by the fact that there were intelligent, attractive, talented children who came from affluent homes and benefited from having access to countless resources and supports. yet were totally devastated by the smallest setbacks. On the other hand, there were children who came from homes that were struggling financially, or from illness of one of the members, or domestic violence, had few resources or support and were thriving. They were popular, excellent students, involved in their communities (in and out of school) and able to handle the ups and downs of life. Why?

There have been countless articles and studies published on this topic by experts who have studied this issue for many years, but for me it came down to nurturing some basic traits in children and encouraging them to become socially competent and having a strong sense of autonomy. More specifically, these traits included:

a. Flexibility – adjust and appreciate different cultures; empathize with others, problem-solve so when one path fails, they know to look for another to achieve their goals.

b. Thinking critically and becoming resourceful – being able to break down problems into their basic components, reflecting and generating options or solutions, and creatively finding strategies and solutions. It also includes knowing when to seek help from others and viewing failure as an opportunity to learn and improve.

c. Developing a strong sense of one’s own identity (including values, priorities, sense of community and social responsibility) and the ability to act independently when appropriate as well as the ability to work and play well with others or support other’s efforts and goals.

d. A strong sense of task mastery – working to achieve mastery even when the task is challenging increases the feeling of accomplishment and self-esteem. Obtaining false complements, unearned awards or recognition contributes to insecurity because although the child enjoys the positive attention in the moment, he or she knows it has not been earned and feels (as many adults sometime feel) that it is undeserving and therefore fleeting or fickle or illusory and unpredictable.

e. Internal locus of control – the ability to manage or control their responses to situation according to their values, priorities, goals, and impact on others.

f. Development of resistance and detachment when appropriate – refusing to accept negative messages about oneself, distancing oneself from dysfunction or destructive behavior and acts of others. These skills act as a powerful protector of their ability to be autonomous and maintain their self-esteem in the face of being betrayed, exploited by those they may respect or are in a position of authority. Racism, sexism and other forms of oppression or prejudice that may limit their possibilities or erode their confidence are identified as such and dismissed as inappropriate, irrelevant or dangerous.

g. A strong sense of purpose which may include spiritual connectedness, career and education goals, emotional connections and responsibilities to their family and community, a general hopefulness and optimism that underlines their desire and need to build a future in which they play a significant role in the lives of others (with partners, in families, within their communities, and in the world).

h. A strong connection to nature – many studies have shown that children who are regularly exposed to natural environments (walking, hiking, building forts, camping, exploring, spending time with animals, etc.) are calmer, develop a respect for the environment, learn better – especially children with learning disorders such as attention deficit disorders, and are generally happier.

Parents, educators, and all adults who interact with children should have high expectations and respect for them. They should provide them with opportunities in the forms of tasks, challenges, and responsibilities that are age appropriate and realistic but involve continued learning through problem solving, autonomous action or choice (and the consequences of those actions or choices), expectation of clear communication, and cooperation with and empathy for others. Achievement (small and large) should be recognized and respect for others (and themselves) should be modeled and encouraged on a consistent basis.

The most difficult job in the world may be parenting, and since the beginning of human history storytelling has been used as a tool to transfer values, beliefs, knowledge, and visions or dreams of a better world. Without the risk of real world consequences or societal pressure to conform, children can explore, imagine, practice, create, and discuss issues that are troubling them. Sharing and discussing stories that engage a child’s imagination is a wonderful way to inspire them, introduce new skills, and reinforce expectations in a positive and fun way. It is a bonding and growing experience for both the adult and the child. It is that magical spot where fantasy and reality overlap and everything seems possible. And it is that sense of wonder and possibility that also fuels a child’s ability to remain strong when the world seems to be a chaotic and unforgiving place.

Hermine Steinberg

http://www.cowalkers.com

Hermine Steinberg is a teacher and parent who lives in Toronto, Canada. Her debut novel-The Co-Walkers, Awakening – is a fantasy-adventure for middle grade readers. The Co-Walkers grew out of her fascination with Celtic mythology and her interest as an educator, counselor and parent in exploring the characteristics and beliefs that build resiliency in children. More importantly, it came from her love of great stories that inspired and strengthened her. Hermine believes there is nothing more powerful than parents, grandparents, older siblings, and/or teachers using stories to discuss sensitive or important issues with children. The Co-Walkers explores our relationship to nature, to our communities, and to our families. A major theme is choice and the power of choice to define ourselves in a way that brings us joy and strength.

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Finding Preschooler Activities to encourage high levels of emotional intelligence (otherwise known as EQ) is of importance to many modern parents who want to raise a well-rounded child who can adapt to different circumstances and social settings, treats other people with empathy and understanding, and has the tools to cope with the range of human emotions, both positive and negative. Trying to cultivate these qualities in very young children can be a difficult task. Adults often have to look first at their own emotional intelligence. If they were raised by parents who did not encourage sharing difficult emotions or discussing problems openly, they may in turn struggle to teach their own children the importance of emotional literacy.

Fortunately, there are many strategies that can be used to help both yourself and your young child become emotionally literate. By incorporating these into Preschooler Activities, you child will find it easier to engage in the process, and hopefully benefit more in the long term. Here are some activities you can try as a starting point:1. Create a “circle of trust” in the home, a relaxed, comfortable place where you can sit with your child. Place a few of his favorite toys in the circle. When you sit in the circle together, make sure you have a quiet environment (turn off the television!) in which to share your feelings. It is important to strike a balance between letting your child know when you are experiencing strong emotions and burdening him with your personal problems. The aim is to let him see that you are human and have feelings too, while drawing the line at using him as a confidante.

2. If your child becomes angry or upset, listen to him and encourage him to talk about how he is feeling. Refer to some of his favorite cartoon characters to encourage him to open up to you, for example “What do you think Buzz Lightyear does when he is upset? Do you think it makes him feel better to talk about it?”

3. If your child is regularly having tantrums, try to set an example for him to follow. Show him how to cope with anger and other strong emotions in a suitable way. If you react to his tantrum by shouting and screaming, he will only carry on behaving in this way for the rest of his life, whenever he finds it hard to cope with overwhelming emotions. While he may be behaving in an undesirable way, it is important that you still acknowledge his feelings. Try to calm him down with a hug or by touching him. When he has calmed down, suggest that your child uses another way to explore his feelings. Choose art supplies that he normally enjoys using, such as paper and crayons or stickers, and ask him to create some art that explains how he is feeling.

4. Create a “feelings book” with your child to help you both deal with any issues you have. This can be just as rewarding for parents as for their children. Spend a few quiet moments together every day drawing pictures and writing in a notebook. This is a good way to spend quality time with your child, making him feel that his opinions and emotions are important.

EQ is an important part of a child’s development and by taking the time to focus on this when your child is young, he will grow up to be a more content, happy and mentally strong adult.

Hi! My name is Angela, creator of the Preschooler Activities website. I have 2 children and I started teaching preschool kids and collecting preschool activities material about 10 years ago.

I find many teachers and parents who are passionate about teaching their preschool children. The only problem was that most of these teachers and parents were tired and didn’t feel they had enough time to create effective preschool activities and lesson plans for their students and children.

I would like to share my collection and compilation of my preschool activities, lesson plans, worksheets, and articles through my Preschooler Activities Website.

You can find collection of preschooler activities ideas at: http://www.preschooleractivities.org/

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